I Choose Me: Falling In Love With Oneself Is A Journey…

Fall in love with taking care of yourself: mind, body and spirit. This is a lesson that I have yet to achieve and am still learning. I was talking to a friend today who I haven’t spoken to in quite some time, and I realized just how far we’ve both come. 

When I met her back in 2012, she and I were in two separate phases of our lives. She was just divorcing from an abusive marriage and I was just starting out my career in fashion and entertainment. Fast forward to 2017, I’m no longer working in the fashion industry, am writing a book about my life’s journey and she’s newly-happily married with the love of her life. My how time flies and things change. 

Through my own personal journey, I am learning to love and appreciate my past; though for awhile, I hated it. Why? Because it broke me down and ripped me apart: financially, spiritually, mentally, physically and emotionally. It had gotten so bad that I could not see my way out. Through all the pain, loss, depression, grief, heartache, and trauma I endured, I had learned a pattern of losing. By losing, I don’t just mean losing things, but I had lost my mind, hope and energy to continue on. I had fallen out of love with me. 

That was just a year ago. Now, I’m learning to fall in love with me all over again. It took some time (years even) and trust it didn’t come easy. I’ll admit there’s still some days when that darkness of self doubt wants to creep back in; but thanks to my faith, my daily scripture readings, prayers and meditation, writings and cooking, I’m able to find things to smile about. 

Surrounding myself with positivity and goodness keeps me going. Everyday I wake up to a beautiful surrounding. In my journey of loving myself, I realized it started with home. I needed a feng shui of everything: mind, body, home and spirit. 

So one of the things I did was have my room repainted to bright, pretty colors that make me smile every time I see them. I removed the old paint of darkness and brightened it up with magnificent soft shades of pinks and eggshell. I put Parisian floral curtains up that reflected a place / goal I desire to attain. I filled up the walls and shelves with motivational quotes and scriptures so that every morning when the Lord wakes me, I would feel the love and be inspired. I dusted my mirrors forcing myself to take a look in them each and everyday. I learned to smile again once I changed my thinking and realized just how blessed I truly was. 

I’ve come a long way. I’ve been through storms, tsunamis, hurricanes and tornados. Yet, like a house built on solid ground, I did not fall. I may have tripped over a few pebble stones along the way, but I had the strength and courage to get back up and continue on. I’m a survivor! For that, I can applaud myself. When all odds were stacked against me, I pushed ahead. 

I’m beautiful because I’m made in the image of God. He created me to be exactly who I am today. He continues to guide me along the way to the place he has for me. I’m not where I want to be but I’m not where I used to be. I choose me everyday and that’s a beautiful thing for I’m learning more and more the importance of falling in love with me! 

I pray, dear friend, that if you have not come to that place of deep love for yourself, that you grow to learn to love yourself. Putting yourself first does not mean your selfish, it means you’re intelligent enough to realize you are no good to anyone if you’re weak, low or worst dead. I pray that God surrounds you with so much love and joy that your heart bursts. I pray that you learn to love like you’ve never been hurt before. Be kind to yourself. Life has thrown you many lemons and dark days, but it’s up to you to choose what type of lemonade you want to shine through. Sincerely and with loads of love, this I pray in Jesus name, Amen. 

~A.G.Rogers 

(Instagram: @AndreaGees)

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